The "I Need It Yesterday" Guide to Not Panicking

We get the emails. They usually arrive in our Gastown studio around 4:00 PM on a Friday with a subject line full of exclamation marks. "I need 50 shirts for my Vancouver charity event this Sunday!!!! Can you help!?!?!?!?"

First of all, take a deep breath. It’s just a t-shirt. It’s not going to save the world, even if your charity event might.

Second of all, while most shops see that email and see dollar signs, we usually don’t. Why? Because if I can make the order work within the timeline, I’ll just do it. I don't need a bonus to do my job; I just need you to understand how time works.

How the Magic Actually Happens (Spoiler: It’s Slowly)

Most people assume screen printing involves taking a shirt, taking an image, and just sticking them together. It isn’t. There is a whole sequence of events that requires time, "science," a bit of planning, and a bunch of patience:

• The Art Struggle: I’ll clean the art up for you, but taking a low-res JPEG and turning it into something that doesn't look like a Rorschach test takes time.

• Having Screens Available: Every screen used has to be reclaimed before it can be used again. We plan for this, but rush orders aren't accounted for in the schedule. If we don't have blank screens ready, they take significant time to clean, dry, coat, and dry again.

• Burning Screens: This involves chemicals, light, and more drying time. You can't rush chemistry. I've tried; it’s pretty much always indifferent to your Sunday deadline.

• The Set-Up: All the colours in your logo require their own screen. Aligning all of those screens so your logo isn't crooked takes time. If it’s a small order, this step takes almost as long as the actual printing.

• The Actual Printing: Then, and only then, do we actually pull squeegees. This part is actually pretty boring, but again—it takes time.

Why We Don’t (Usually) Charge Rush Fees

Most shops charge a premium for rush orders because it’s a "headache tax." We prefer to skip the tax and just self-medicate to alleviate any headaches ourselves. If the press is available and we can make it work in time, we’ll get it done.

But—and this is a big "but"—this only works if you have your act together. If you want us to perform a miracle without a fee, you need to:

• Have Artwork Ready: A vector is preferred, but we’re flexible. Just please don't send it as a sketch on a napkin. (This actually happens).

• Know Your Sizes: "A mix of Mediums and Larges" is a good start, but I need to know exactly how many shirts you’re after before I can even quote you.

• Check Your Inbox: If you need your order in 72 hours, but it takes you 96 hours to approve your proof, that kind of throws a massive wrench in things.

The "Canadian Shipping" Reality Check

We’re in Canada. It’s a large country, distances are vast, and the weather can be... let’s just call it "dumb." Even if I print your shirts in record time, I cannot personally fight a blizzard to get a courier to your door. I grew up in the Kootenays; I’ve tried fighting a blizzard before, but to no avail. Also, if you live in the middle of nowhere, "Rush" is more just wishful thinking than a guarantee.

The Bottom Line: I won’t gouge you for being late to the party, but we’d really appreciate it if you tried to show up on time next year. It’ll be better for both of our anxiety levels.

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